The book ‘How to win friends and influence people’ by Dale Carnegie is a self-help book with tips on how you can make friends and have better relationships. It was released in 1936 but still to this day has great lessons to learn. Many people recommend it so let’s find out if you should read it too.
‘How to win friends and influence people’ is , how the title already tells, a book about how you can make friends and how you can have better relationships with people in general. Dale Carnegie was a communication and motivationtrainer. His courses around topics like positive thinking, business success and how to deal with people were received very well. He used the feedback of his audience, who wanted a book about these topics, and made his main rules into a book.
The book starts with an introduction to human behaviour and is then divided in 4 different parts:
- How to be liked by people
- How to change someones mind
- How to criticize without hurting someones feelings
- How to achieve a happier family life
Everyone of these main parts is divided into little chapters. Every rule has his own chapter. The chapters first start with a quick mention of the rule, after that a few examples out of history from famous people who have used these principles follow. People like Abraham Lincoln or Theodor Roosevelt are often mentioned. After that you get stories from people who followed Dales course and had great results. As a conclusion comes a quick summary of the principle of this chapter.
At the end of every part is resume of all the main principles. It’s a list with all principles in order, so you can refresh your memory.
What you can learn to make friends
After reading the book you can say that it comes down to a few important things. If you really want to be succesful with people then you should care about other people. You need to be really interested in understanding other people.
In order to make people like you, you need to put them on the first place. This means that you need to let the other person talk more, let them talk about their desires and wishes. Then you really listen to them and you are not just waiting for your turn of talking, then they will feel really appreciated by you.
It’s important that you know that other people only think of themselves.
Everyone is striving for recognition and that they feel that they are worth. If you provide this to other people, then they will create personal connections with you.
The book also touches the topic of debating someone. If you want to change someones mind, then you need to keep a few things in mind. Everytime you tell someone he isn’t right, they feel emotionally attacked. This results in them acting emotionally. After that they will try to insist on their point. So in order to change someones mind you need to think of a tactful way of a discussion.
You will also find advice that isn’t typically advice for your social skills. This “hidden gems” feature advice on wealth building and achieving your goals. Dale Carnegie mentions at the beginning of the book how you can take the most out of this book. These kind of advice can be used on other things too.
The reading performance is amazing in this book.
As already mentions, Carnegie uses not only facts and methods to give his knowledge, but he also uses stories of former clients, influential people from history and influential people that he knew. He has a great way of bringing his words to you. You will feel encouraged and motivated to use his advice because he finds the right words, since he was a motivational trainer.
The book features great advice that is worth it to be implemented in your daily life. It’s important to mention that Carnegie isn’t talking about some kind of magic trick. His advice is rather simple but can be very beneficial.Either way the book is a great read. You shouldn’t get bored easily since the author finds his ways of keeping your interests.
I highly recommend this book. So, if you feel like reading it then go for it !
You won’t regret it.